Christian Rules for Handling Bullies

I was bullied when I was in high school. I was not physically beaten up but I was mistreated quite a bit which did bring me quite a bit of emotional grief and tears. I am quick to admit that some of the mistreatment that I got was self-inflicted (I was a little bit of a “know-it-all” stinker), but for the most part, I did not deserve the way that I was treated (neither do 99.99999999999% of people that are bullied). That is why I sympathize with people who struggle with being bullied. Although I sympathize, I do not agree with a lot of the methods being taught today about handling bullies. To me, it seems as if this generation is not being taught how to handle bullies, but that they have the right to not be around bullies. There is a problem with that thinking and let me give you an illustration: When I was a teen there was one person, above all others, that was really cruel to me (let’s call him Bill). One day I was so fed up that I told my dad about how upset I was that Bill was picking on me. Dad told me this piece of truth “Curt, there is going to be a “Bill” everywhere you go for the rest of your life.” Do you know what? He was right! I went off to Bible college and there was a guy just like Bill, I went to work at Panera Bread and at each store I ended up working at I worked with a Bill, even now that I am in the ministry I have to deal with “Bills” every Sunday. The point I am trying to make is this: No matter how far you run, there will always be a bully. That does not make it right, it does not make it fair; but it does mean that we need to learn how to handle them instead of running away from them. Fortunately, Jesus does not leave us without answers when it comes to dealing with bullies. Here are some rules to abide by if you are a Christian.

Be kind

Ephesians 4:32, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

I feel like I mention kindness almost every blog post that I write. The reason for that is because of the fact that as Christians WE OUGHT TO BE KIND. Let me ask you, does a bully deserve your kindness? Absolutely not! To be honest, it can be hard enough to be kind to your friends, let alone your enemies. But there are a few reasons why this is a good practice. First, it will burn the bully with conviction (Romans 12:20, “Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.) Second, you will be blameless and on the high ground. And third, and most important, it is what Jesus did for you. Let me elaborate on this one, you were the enemy of God (Romans 5:10) before you were saved. You did not deserve a single good thing from God, all you deserved was eternity in Hell, but Jesus came and died on a cross for your sins as undeserving as you are. That is called grace. That same grace that Jesus gave to us, we ought to give to other people as well. Does that bully deserve your kindness? No! Give it to him anyway. Aren’t you glad that Jesus didn’t just save those who “deserved” to be saved! Let’s be like Jesus and show grace to everyone.

Be prayerful

Matthew 5:44, “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;”

I heard a sermon when I was a teen, it was about loving your enemies. The preacher said something that stuck to my mind, he said, “It is impossible to not love someone that you pray for every day.” I heard what he said, I thought about the bullies in my life, and I took him to task on that statement. I singled out the top 5 people who were particularly cruel to me and every night before I went to bed I would pray for them, calling them the Fantastic Five (I was, and still am, a nerd). I didn’t pray anything dumb like, “I pray they will have a ton of bricks fall on them”, instead I prayed three things, first, that God would give them a good day the next day, and second, that I would be granted the opportunity to show at least one of them kindness. And third, that God would help me to love them. Do you know what happened? They never changed. Those five kept being bullies, they never stopped mistreating me. But there was a change inside of me. I can honestly say that I love those 5 now and if I were to see any one of them today I would have nothing but kind things to say to them. God put a piece in my heart that could only be gotten by praying for my enemies. If you have a bully who is ruining your life, pray for them.

Choose to be happy

Acts 16:25, “And at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them.”

Paul and Silas were in a difficult situation, they were in prison. They had been beaten and now their feet were in stocks, rodents and vermin were likely crawling all over them. In the middle of this awful circumstance, Paul and Silas praised God. Their actions show us that happiness is not based on circumstances. By the way, even if it was based on circumstances you should still be happy, here are your circumstances: you are on your way to Heaven instead of Hell, you are no longer seen by God as a sinner but a saint, you are a child of God rather then a child of sin. Be happy. No matter what life throughs your way, be happy. In fact, God does not say to just be happy in convenient times, but to “rejoice in the Lord ALWAY” (Philippians 4:4). What does being happy have to do with bullies? The reason that bullies will bully people you is because they do not want you to be happy, they want to see you miserable. I’ve had to learn this the tough way, the bully is happy when you cry, the bully is giddy and feels like he has won when you lash out in anger, but the bully has lost when you do not let him get to you and you keep that smile on your face. In high school, I would get weepy and sad over people that were unkind to me, but now I have learned that in order to win against a bully you need to smile in their face, say hello to them whenever you see them with a little bit of a spring in your voice as if nothing they do or say can get you down. Everyone, even a bully, ought to see that you have the joy of Jesus in your heart.

By the way, bullies are often miserable themselves, that is why they are a bully (miserable people make more miserable people and then they are happy!) maybe you can help the bully by spreading that joy a little: invite them to church, witness to them, again, be kind. Show them the reason why you are happy.

I want to send out a disclaimer before this post is finished: I am not trying to victim shame. I know what being a victim of bullying is like, it is not fun. I wish that no one would have to go through bullying. I am not trying to victim shame, instead, I am trying to keep you from being a victim. I would rather be a victor than be a victim, and I believe that when it comes to bullies we can be victors. I believe that when we follow these truths found in the Word of God we can be victorious over bullies.

Check out more of my writing at Getting My Attitude Adjusted and Sermons from the Book of Haggai

Christian Rules for Politics

It has been quite some time since I have written on here, for which I apologize (sense, you know, thousands, or even millions, of people read my blog!) But the Lord has been laying some things on my heart about this upcoming election. If you go on Facebook at all, you see that one out of every 5 posts (statistic created by myself) is about this year’s election. Some are anti-Trump, some are anti-Clinton, some are anti-both. It is not uncommon to see a large group of my friends posting at least a dozen politically charged articles in a day. This post IS NOT to say that we ought to abandon our concern about politics. I believe every Christian ought to vote. I believe every Christian should be an informed voter. But I believe that there are a few things more important than politics. Here are some Christian rules for politics, based on Scripture.

1. Don’t Neglect Your Spiritual Walk

2nd Timothy 2:15, “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”

I get on Drudge Report every day to read the news. I make sure that I am somewhat informed about the world around me. But I should never be a “news hound” at the expense of my walk with God. If you are constantly reading news stories but not reading your Bible, you are not walking with God. I fear that there are too many Christians reading the news and too few Christians reading their Bibles. I have said behind my pulpit many times before, and I strongly believe this, that one of the biggest problems with Christianity today is that we are not people of the Word of God. Get into your Bibles!

2. Be A Witness

Mark 16:15, “And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.”

I have met plenty of people who are very quick into getting into political arguments (they call it discussions) with other people. It burdens my heart that too many Christians are more quick to share their political beliefs with a stranger than to tell that stranger about their Saviour. Christian, Donald Trump is not your Messiah. Hillary Clinton did not die on the cross for your sins. Gary Johnson did not give you the gift of eternal life. There is no person in this world more important to the world than Jesus Christ. Let’s tell others about him! Sure, he may not be on our ballot, but he is in our Bibles and on our Gospel tracts. Tell others about Jesus. By the way, most of the world’s problems would be a lot smaller if more people knew Christ as their Saviour. The Gospel is the hope of the world!

3. Have Perspective

2nd Chronicles 7:14, “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”

Can I say something that will hurt some people… ok, here it goes… Donald Trump cannot Make America Great Again. Neither can Hillary for that matter. Republicans and Democrats alike tend to deify their candidate to a level of “Messiah-ship” (look, I made up a word!), and that is absolutely wrong. No matter who is put into the White House, this nation is still in a great amount of trouble. No president can fix this mess. Who can? God can! The verse above does not say to seek Trump’s face or Clinton’s face, it says to seek God’s face. And this is a task that must be done by the people of God (“if my people…”) I have said before and will say it for years to come, America is in the shape that it is in because of Christians who will not humble themselves, pray, seek God’s face, and turn from their own wicked ways.” Do not look for a president that will fix the problems that you created, seek God’s face at this time. The only way America will be great again is if Christians start living like Christians ought to.

4. Be Kind

Ephesians 4:32, “And be ye kind…”

There is more to that verse, which goes into greater detail about how and why we should be kind to others. But those first four words are beautiful in their simplicity. Be nice! I have seen unkindness rear its ugly head on two fronts:

Cruel statements about politicians- I am not opposed to calling out politicians on inconsistencies or on their policy, but personal attacks are unChristian and unkind. The other day my wife and I saw an article about Michelle Obama, underneath the article were all of these comments about how ugly Mrs. Obama is. My wife and I were shocked! People were saying cruel things like calling her “Moochelle”. My wife and I agreed that this was ridiculous. Every time we see Mrs Obama, we are both impressed by how put together she looks and, yes, the fact that she is a pretty woman. Let me ask you this, would Jesus ever call any woman ugly? The answer to that is “NO!” Neither should a child of God. This is not just about Mrs Obama though, but about practically every politician that anyone ever disagrees with. Even children aren’t off limits! Remember, politicians are people too, they do not deserve personal attacks based on their looks, intelligence, or public speaking abilities (you try it sometime! I promise, public speaking is hard and I only speak to 30-40 every week!) Attack positions, but do not attack people.

Cruel statements to others- Too many families and friends get into heated discussions about politics! I understand talking over things, but when names start getting called and when people start to be cruel is when the line has been crossed. Do not forget that after this election is over you will still have that family member in your life whether or not they voted Blue or Red. That coworker will still be standing next to you every week. Basically, what I am trying to say is Practice Grace with people that disagree with you. Just because someone disagrees with you over some minor area of policy does not mean that we should cast them out of our lives and treat them as heretics. Kindness is what is expected of a Christian.

You might say, “Pastor King, these are all things we ought to be doing anyway!” Exactly! The point I am making is simple: Our spiritual lives do not take a back seat in the election year. Before you are a Republican, you are a Christian. Before you are an American, you are a Christian. Go out and vote this year (you have no right to complain about politics if you do not vote), be an informed voter, read the news to make sure you know the developing stories, but please, Christian, please do not stop being what you ought to be for your Saviour. A blogger wrote the other day that this will be the ugliest election in our modern history. It very well may be, but let that not be said of us Christians, let us walk through this season with grace toward all men.

"Pastor King, where have you been? I miss your writing!" The mighty throngs of you are saying. I will continue to write on this blog when I can, but in the meantime, check out the health/lifestyle blog that my wife and I have together right here!
Don't forget to check out my books on the Kindle: Getting My Attitude Adjusted, Sermons from the Book of Haggai, and Sermons from the Life of Abraham!

Christian Rules For Facebook

I created my Facebook account a little later than most people do. My wife and I created a shared account just a few weeks before we got married. Facebook has been a blessing in my life: I am able to see how my friends are doing, I get to watch as my ministry friends serve the Lord, I get to know how I can specifically pray for people. Facebook has also been a curse as well: It is difficult to watch the carnality that a lot Christians exhibit on their Facebook pages. Now, we all have read the stories about people spouting off their ignorance on Facebook and then losing friendships over it, or losing their jobs, or getting into legal trouble. We often shake our heads in disbelief at just how foolish people can be on Facebook. Let me propose, though, that on a spiritual level, many Christians are doing the same exact thing. Almost as if when they log onto their Facebook accounts they decide to throw their walk with God out the window. Here are a few rules that Christians should practice as they do their “Facebooking”.

1. Never Talk Badly of Anyone- Many act like just because they have a screen in front of them, they can say whatever they want. A good rule to live by is, “If I wouldn’t say it to their face, I shouldn’t say it at all.” Another good rule to live by is, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” The truth is, Christians ought not to be in the business of tearing people down, God has not called us to do that, instead he has called us to lift people up; Galatians 6:1,2, “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” It doesn't matter how someone has hurt you, done you wrong, or simply annoys you; the wise thing to do is to hold your tongue.
2. Never Lift Yourself Up- Just as much as we enjoy tearing people down, we also enjoy lifting ourselves up. If you ever decide that you want to make someone look good on Facebook, make sure it is at least one of two people: Jesus or other people. Never talk about your accomplishments, or your intellect, or your success. A good verse for that is Proverbs 27:2, “Let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth; a stranger, and not thine own lips. Remember, if you lift yourself up in pride, you will be abased (Matthew 23:12)
3. Never Exalt Sin- I could tell you many stories about Christian friends of mine who exalt sin on Facebook, I will not because it is unfair to single people out. A wise question to ask yourself is this, “Would Jesus be involved in this activity that I’m about to post a picture of?” Unfortunately, a lot of pictures I see of things that some of my Christian brothers and sisters are doing, I know (based on Scripture) that Jesus does not want to be a party to those activities. Remember what 1st Thessalonians 3:7 says, “For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness.”
4. Never Argue- Do you know how much good arguing does? None! When we argue with people all it does is leaves both parties upset with each other, no one has changed their mind, and both people become even more entrenched in their beliefs, right or wrong. Arguing is unproductive. I remember in college how excited some college guys would get when they would run across some Jehovah’s Witness’s while out soul winning. They came back grinning from ear to ear saying, “Yeah, we met some Jehovah’s Witness’s today and we won the argument! We sure stumped them!” Unfortunately though, in that time when they could have been productive for the Lord and actually trying to win souls for Jesus, they instead engaged in senseless debate. Arguing is foolish, do not do it. Do not be the person that is constantly trying to pick a fight. Jesus commands us to be gracious people, read Matthew 18:23-35, sense God has been gracious to us, we should do the same for others.

Do you notice something about these rules? They do not just apply to Facebook but to real life. Do you know why? Facebook is a part of real life! Sometimes we get on Facebook, or any kind of social media for that matter, and see a screen, and then tell ourselves that what we post have no real consequences, there are no spiritual implications, or no one will get hurt. But we couldn’t be more wrong! Facebook is just as real of interaction as face to face interaction, but we often treat with much less sobriety than we should. We often pray that everything we say and do will be to the glory of God, the same must be true with your Facebook account. I doubt the fervency of a Christian who is able to live for Jesus at church, but lives for himself on Facebook. A sincere, genuine Christian will allow Christ to shine in his life no matter what avenue. Let’s determine that as we build our internet presence, it will all point to our great Saviour!

The Greatest Lesson My Mom Taught Me

Today is my mom’s birthday. Happy Birthday, Mom! In honor of this occasion, I will share in this post the greatest lesson my mom ever taught me. It did not take a long time to figure out which lesson to write about, this one has been in the front of my mind sense the very beginning. It is also apt because it is also so close to Thanksgiving. The greatest lesson that my mom taught me was about being thankful.

My mom has always made a big deal about being thankful. Ever since I was a kid, I knew that my mother’s favorite hymn was Count Your Blessings. To this day, whenever I sing that song it makes me think about my mother. I guess the one thing, though, that makes this lesson stand out to me, is my mom’s treatment of Thanksgiving. If you know the King family at all, you know that we LOVE Thanksgiving. No matter how separated me are throughout the year (I live in Georgia, my parents and brother live in Maryland, and my sisters live in California!) we always are able to gather ourselves up together for Thanksgiving. Not a single one of us has missed Thanksgiving as a family yet; I know that someday we will not be able to say anymore, but for now, that is impressive. My mom says every year that she is planning on scaling back on the food, but every year seems like she makes more than the year before! As soon as we wake up in the morning there are cinnamon rolls ready to eat and all day long there are “appetizers” on the table, including things like pumpkin roll, shrimp dip, crab dip, buffalo chicken dip, and many other dips, cheese ball and crackers, and the list goes on and on. And then, of course, later on in the day, we stop eating the appetizers in order to give our stomach’s some room for Thanksgiving dinner. Every year, my family has a traditional Thanksgiving dinner, with the turkey, corn, mashed potatoes, stuffing, green beans, sweet potato casserole (AMEN!), and others. As I write this, I feel like such a pig! But I promise, it gets better. Thanksgiving is not special for my family because of the food. Yes, the food is awesome! And it is definitely a perk to being there, but that is not what our Thanksgiving is about. Our Thanksgiving is about a turkey made out of construction paper. Did I lose you? Let me explain. Every year, my mom cuts out “feathers” from colored construction paper and sends a feather to each extended member of the family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, some people I don’t think I have ever met) and asks them to write down what they are thankful for on the feather and then mail it back to us. On Thanksgiving day, those of us that are there also write our own feathers. When we are done eating the dinner, we stay at the table and dad brings a turkey made of construction paper into the dining room. We all get the same amount of feathers, and we read out loud what every member of the family said. The feathers go onto the construction paper turkey and when it is all done the turkey looks full and fat with feathers.

I cannot remember when that tradition started. It is something that we have done every year since I was just a little kid. That tradition has brought about some of the greatest memories that my family has ever had: There would be some years when it seemed like everyone in our family had gone through some serious trials and we were all in tears as we read our feathers about how thankful we are for God’s goodness, one year a turkey feather announced my wife’s pregnancy to the family, almost every year brings laughter as we read the feathers. I am even getting a little emotional right now as I think of all the great memories I have from doing that. What’s the point? Now that I am older, I understand why my mom went out of her way to make sure that that tradition was done. She was trying to instill in us a heart of thankfulness. My mom taught me that even when the future looks bleak, that even when I do not know what the future holds, I still have so much to be thankful for.

Thankfulness is missing in most of our homes and churches. Yes, we say what we are thankful for around the dinner table on Thanksgiving day, but for the rest of the year we act very unthankful. A lack of thankfulness expresses itself in griping, complaining, never having joy, not being a soul winner, and not being holy. The truth is, if we all determined that we would be more thankful to the Lord for everything he has done in our lives, it would transform the way that we live.

Here is the problem though, it comes naturally for us to complain about our problems, and it is unnatural (or supernatural) for us to be thankful. Dr. Rasmussen, at West Coast Baptist College, always says, “Thinkfulness is Thankfulness”. Do you want to be a thankful person? It requires you make a conscious effort. It isn’t just going to happen; thankfulness requires that you put some effort into it. As the song says, “Count your blessings, name them one by one.” 

I am so thankful for a mother who has taught me all throughout my life that being thankful is an important part of my walk with God. My challenge to you today is to Count Your Blessings. It really will surprise you what the Lord has done.

Don’t forget to check out the other lessons my mom has taught me:  Meekness Is Not Weakness, and Home Is A Haven.

Be sure to check out Calvary Baptist Church

Lessons My Mom Taught Me- Meekness is not Weakness

Fragile. That is not a good word to describe my mom. Now, some of you who think that you know my mom are reading this and thinking, “Of course she is fragile! She is sweet, sensitive, and a bit quiet.” Well, I hate to tell you this, but you don’t know my mom. It takes great fortitude to be a pastor’s wife. There are many women who cannot handle the pressure and hurt their husband’s ministry because of it. Being a pastor’s wife is MUCH harder than being a pastor. I can say that because my mother is a pastor’s wife and my wife is a pastor’s wife. I have seen and experienced firsthand this truth. My mother is not fragile, my mother is not weak. I think Hollywood has tricked modern society into thinking that in order for a woman to be strong, she needs to be loud and boisterous. First example of this that comes to my mind is Lois Lane in the Superman comics. Whenever Lois walks into a room, she takes control. She is pushy, always gets her way. Most people would look at Lois Lane (if she was a real person) and say, “That is a strong woman!” And maybe she is. But can I tell you a strength that is often overlooked? Meekness. The word “fragile” is not a good way to describe my mom, “meek” is. What does it mean to be meek? The Biblical idea behind meekness is twofold, the first part is speaking of humility and the second part is referring to weakness. You might say, “Pastor King, look at the title of this blog. You are saying that meekness is NOT weakness.” Correct, because meekness as a Christian is not simply being weak, but also gaining strength from Jesus Christ. Understand, every single one of us is weak, but it is the meek person who understands that they are weak and need to take on the strength of Christ. Do you know something that is very difficult about being a pastor’s wife? Knowing about people who mistreat your husband but still loving them and being kind to them. Knowing that someone said something overly cruel to your husband but then going up to them with a smile on your face and love in your heart on Sunday anyway. That takes strength. Some people would say, “That person hurt me, I’m just going to hurt them back. They don’t deserve my kindness or love!” That person is reactionary and weak. The person that can bite his tongue and continue on loving is the strong person.

I have seen my mom hurt many times. Whether it was someone saying a cruel thing about my dad, or about one of us kids. Whether it was someone being overly cruel or harsh to my family. I have talked to my mom on several occasions where she was in tears. But never once have I seen her angry. And that speaks a lot of her strength.

Many Christians can learn from this. Why are we so quick to lash out? Why are we so quick to act out in anger? Truly strong people are the ones who decide not to fight back, but instead decide to continue to love despite the bad treatment they endured.

Isn’t that what Jesus did? On the cross, one of the things he said was, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Who was Jesus speaking of? The people that beat him, spit in his face, whipped him, and nailed him on a cross to die! But Jesus did not act out in anger, he didn’t call fire down from Heaven to destroy them all, instead he loved them. One of the most Christ-like things we can do is to love those that have hurt us. Yes, it is meek, but it is also very strong.

My mother is one of the strongest women I know. Yes, she may be quiet at times, she may not like speaking in big crowds, she may be sweet, and yes, she may even be a little sensitive at times, but my mom is not fragile. She has great fortitude. She is meek. And it is the meek people who, in reality, are very strong.

Stay tuned for next week’s post- The Greatest Lesson My Mom Taught Me!

Check out Calvary Baptist Church.

If you missed my first post in Lessons My Mom Taught Me, check it out- Home is a Haven.

Last thing, I promise. In the beginning of 2015, I am launching my new book “Sermons from the Life of Abraham” on the Kindle. Stay tuned for its release. In the meantime, check out my book Sermons from the Book of Haggai.

Lessons My Mom Taught Me- Home Is a Haven

High school was very difficult for me. I did not have a whole lot of friends during my time in high school. In fact, it wasn’t until about my junior year when I could reach out to younger guys that I really had a nice base of friends. Admittedly, some of it I brought on myself; some of it was not my fault though. I know it doesn’t sound very manly to admit, but there were several times in my time in high school when I came home crying just because someone had treated me cruelly. By the way, as a side note, there is never a good reason to be mean to anyone, ever. Jesus calls us to live above that and love one another. It is a shame that in a Christian high school, where everyone professed to know Jesus Christ as their Saviour, there was so much hatred and cruelty, but that is a different post for a different time. In high school I endured people saying cruel things to men, about me, spreading vicious rumors about me, treating me like the worst kind of person imaginable. I was mocked, scorned, belittled, and hurt. I am telling you all of this, not so you will feel bad for me, but so that you will see the burden that I felt. Put yourself in my shoes for a moment. Does it hurt? Do you dread waking up in the morning to face another day surrounded by people that hate you? Yeah. It’s tough. But do you know what made it all worth it? HOME. You see, my mother lived by a principle. Home is a haven. When we come home, the worries that we had from school were no longer important. At home, everyone was loved. At home, it was calm and relaxing. At home, I was safe. My mom made this happen by doing several things. Often there would be a plate of cookies or brownies ready for me and my siblings when we came home from school. Most mornings when we woke up and many evenings, my mom would turn on some soft playing music that was relaxing and calming. And every single day when we came home, my mom was genuinely happy to see us. It has been said that two things make the spirit of a home what it is, mom and music. My mom strived to make the spirit of our home one of safety and love.

I compare that to what many other children face. I can say with certainty that many children do not experience that type of home. From conversations I’ve had with friends, to seeing the homes of children we pick up on the church bus. Many children lack this type of home. Here is the problem with that. Most children and teenagers do not find safety or rest in school. Even the most popular in school are faced by pressure and difficulties among their peers. Those that do find safety and rest at school are in for a world of trouble, because there is a need to hold on to it, so peer pressure is easier to fall to. Children that lack a loving home lack stability. By the way, if you think what I am saying is hogwash (that’s a fun word to use) this is something that I studied about and I have many sources to back me on this. Kids need a loving home. Period.

Can I be honest about something? I love my dad. That was made very clear by my series called Lessons My Dad Taught Me. But, if I would have had my dad without my mom, I do not believe I would be a well adjusted member of society. My dad would testify to that. If I had not had my mother, I would hate the life of the ministry, I would be bitter at life and people, and I would not have any of the positive relationships that I have today. Why? Because when I would get beaten down by the outside world, I knew I had a haven, a place to go where I felt safe. Home. That is not to say that my dad did not do a good job, it’s just that my mother made it a point to make home a place of comfort (please don’t read into this what isn’t intended to be said).

If you are a parent, which I’m sure many of you are. Do not make home a place of fighting and bickering. Too many homes, Christian homes, are a hotbed for strife; that is not the way that it is supposed to be. Why do so many children grow up and want nothing to do with the church? Oftentimes it has nothing to do with the church, but it has everything to do with the home. It may have been Lee Roberson who said that our country is weak because the church is weak, but the church is weak because families are weak. My mother taught me that in order to make a family strong, a family needs to feel safe from all trouble at home. No hatred, no anger, no strife. Just love, acceptance, and encouragement. 

My mom is full of wisdom, you can hear her at the Sword Ladies Jubilee on 

Check out Calvary Baptist Church for more about me and my ministry.

For some of the music cd’s that my mom would use at home, go to Faith Music Mission. 

Lessons My Dad Taught Me- Quality Time

Ever since I was a little boy, my dad made it a point to spend time with me. When I was in elementary school, sometimes my dad would pull me out of school early and we would go see an Orioles baseball game. My dad would buy me a cup of Dip ’N Dots and we would sit and talk while watching the game. I remember my dad taking me every year to the Ravens training camp, and getting autographs from players and getting to talk with Tony Banks and The Goose. Once I got into the 5th grade or so, dad would wake me up early a few times a week and we would jog in the woods. Once I got older and my tastes began to change, dad would take me to McDonalds every Monday morning and we would spend time with each other and talk. Several times we would drive a few to hear a preacher out of town, and when the winter came my dad would drive me every single week to go snowboarding. My dad invested a whole lot of time in me. I remember that most of those drives to and from snowboarding I would talk to my dad about a subject that I was passionate about- please don’t laugh- the life of Walt Disney. I don’t want to brag, but I have read over a dozen biographies of Walt Disney, his life fascinates me, it did even when I was a teenager. I would talk for hours about Walt Disney to my dad. Do you something I realized not to long ago? My dad did not care even an ounce about what I was talking about! Seriously, who really wants to know how Dumbo did in the box office or why the Disney Studio riot happened? But as a teen, I did not know that. My dad engaged with me about something that he cared little to nothing about. Why is that? He was trying to invest time in me.

I love my parents. They mean the world to me. The hardest thing about living in Georgia is that I don’t get to see them nearly as much as I used to. I believe that a large part of the reason that I feel love by my parents and why I love them in return is because of time spent. My dad made it very clear in his actions that his job was important, but his family was more important. Yes, sometimes he had to take a phone call while we were spending time together and sometimes he did have to go on an emergency hospital visit, but I never had a doubt in my mind that he would rather be spending time with me than doing that.

Who do you love? We all love at least one person in our lives. Is it your parents? your spouse? your child? co-worker? The list goes on and on. Do you know how to express that love in a genuine way? Give them your time. Time is the most valuable asset that we have, therefore the things that we spend time on are ultimately the things that we truly care about. As a pastor, I love my congregation. I need to be diligent to give them my time, in writing them letters, in listening to them if they need to talk to me, in prayer, and in other areas. You see, it takes more than telling someone that you love them, it takes actions. Talk is cheap, actions are valuable.

I have never doubted the love that my parents have for me. Not many grown children are able to say that. A lot of children feel like they took second place to work, or maybe even third, fourth, or fifth place. But since my parents spend their time on me, I know they love me and I love them in return. Quality time is important.

Don’t forget to check out Calvary Baptist Church

This is the last of the Lessons My Dad Taught Me Series. To read the others again, here is No Complainin’ About Nothin’, The Importance of Soulwinning, and Never Argue With Anyone About Anything Ever.

Stay tuned for a new series coming next week: Lessons My Mom Taught Me!

Lessons My Dad Taught Me- Never Argue With Anyone About Anything Ever

College was a huge step in my life, as it is with every college student. It was particularly hard on me and my family because the college I had chosen to was in California, (West Coast Baptist College) while my family lived in Maryland. I was far from home. This was not my first time being far from home, I had spent summers serving at the Bill Rice Ranch, but this was the first truly long time. My family flew out with me to get me all set up and ready. We made the most of those last days we had together. I will never forget my father pulling me aside and giving me a word of advice. This was one of the last things he advised me on before they left, and it will stick with me until the day I die. He said to me, “Curt, never get into an argument with anybody.” He then explained to me that preacher boys are notorious for enjoying an argument over theology, or personal standards, or other things (He was right) and that doing so is an unwise and not a spirit-filled thing to do.

It did not take me very long for me to realize that he was very right about what he told me. In my time at college, I heard preacher boys argue in dorm rooms, I saw them argue on Facebook, and I overheard them argue while out soul winning. By the way, this is not a reflection on my alma mater, this is a reflection on human nature. It seemed as if everywhere I turned people were arguing. I will not say some of the ridiculous things that were being argued about, because some who read this may have been the people who were arguing!

Before you roll your eyes and say, “Well, doesn’t Pastor King think he is so perfect!” I have to admit, sometimes I did not follow my dad’s advice. Sometimes I got sucked into arguing. I remember one time in particular, there was a guy who told me that the preaching at church was not really as important as we made it out to be. Now, maybe he just said that to grind my gears, because it did! I got angry and I began to argue.

Looking back though, I realize just how foolish it was. How much time was wasted by guys sitting around and arguing all afternoon? Sometimes when we would get back from visitation on Saturday’s, guys would come into the dorm with a big grin on their face. People would ask, “Did you see anyone get saved today?” And they would reply, “No! But we got to argue with some Mormons, and boy did we let them have it!” Do you know what happened? These guys would spend an hour arguing theology with Mormon missionaries. I am not saying that Mormons can’t be saved, but I am saying that arguing with one isn’t going to do it! These guys would waste all of that time on this group of Mormons while the entire time they could have been knocking on more doors, inviting people to church and spreading the Gospel. When they decided to argue instead, nobody won. They didn’t win, the Mormons didn’t win, certainly God didn’t win. Oh wait, there is someone who did win…the Devil.

And that is the whole point. Arguing is nothing but a waste of time. All it does is it swells the ego of the person who “won the argument”, and it keeps us from doing what we are supposed to be doing.

You might want to argue with me and say, “But how will we show people that they are wrong?” When you decide to argue with someone, they don’t care what you have to say. If you want to help change someone for the better try to love them to where they need to be. Many of you have heard the famous phrase, “It is easier to catch flies with honey than vinegar”. Although that is technically not true (flies are definitely more attracted to vinegar) the lesson remains the same. You are not going to help people change or grow by arguing or belittling what they believe or do, you win them by loving them.

I still cannot get over how much time I wasted that I could have used to serve the Lord in an effective way. If only I had heeded that lesson that my dad taught me much sooner. Arguing is a waste of time, never argue with anyone about anything.

God is doing great things at Calvary Baptist Church in Hartwell, GA! Check us out!

My dad is the pastor of Emmanuel Baptist Temple. Give it a look!

Check out the other Lessons My Dad Taught Me: No Complainin' About Nothin' and The Importance of Soul winning

Lessons My Dad Taught Me- The Importance of Soul Winning

Another recent article on soul winning was written by my good friend, Kreig Durham. Read it here at Cutting the Great Commission Short.

I would like to share what may possibly thing the biggest thing that my father taught me that has shaped who I am today. If my father had never taught me this, I do not believe that I would be in the ministry today. That is the area of soul winning. Can you look back on your life and identify one particular moment that shaped the rest of your life? I sure can. I forget what grade I was in, I believe it was around the third grade, but I can take you to the exact spot where this happened and all the events surrounding it. This moment was the time that my dad showed me how to be a soul winner. You might think that a third grader is too young to be a soul winner, but I cannot disagree with you more. I remember exactly how it happened. My dad and me were sitting in the front pew of the church we were at. It was not a Sunday or Wednesday night, I think it was after school one day. My dad gave me a brown Gideon Bible and took me through the Romans Road, underlining verses and then writing notes to show me which verse to go to next. That moment motivated me to be a soul winner. I asked my junior church teacher if I could go through the salvation plan with any kid that needed to get saved, I witnessed to my classmates, in fact, I got to win one girl to the Lord, I would stand outside the auditorium when church was over, asking people if they were saved. I was excited about sharing the Gospel because my dad showed me how much of a priority it was by showing me how to do it. It was around the 5th grade when my dad asked me if I wanted to go soul winning with the teens on Wednesday night. I agreed to do so, and every Wednesday night after that I would go out soul winning with a group of teen guys. Typically 5th graders are not invited to go out soul winning with teens, but my dad was trying to show me that soul winning is important.

I am still pretty young, in life and in the ministry, but I have had the opportunity to see many churches and their operations. I do not think I am overstepping my bounds when I say that I can see the spiritual climate of fundamental Baptists. I have noticed that there are two areas that are vastly being ignored among many of our Christians, they are the areas of personal Bible study and personal soul winning. Many Christians do not know how to be an effective soul winner, but that isn’t the main problem; the main problem is that many Christians don’t feel like they need to know how to be an effective soul winner. I think what fuels this problem is the fact that being a soul winner requires you to not just play the part of being a Christian on Sunday morning during church, but it requires you to be a Christian ALL THE TIME. That is a commitment that some are just not willing to make. Why aren’t they? Because they do not see the importance in soul winning.

Jesus saw the importance of soul winning. What does he say to his disciples in Matthew 9:37, “the harvest truly is plenteous, but the labourers are few.” Jesus is telling his disciples that they need to get out into the harvest field. There are souls that need to be saved, and we are the ones that can go out there and make a difference for the Lord.

We, as Christians, rally behind great causes. I ate at Chick-fil-a on Chick-fil-a Day, I shop at Hobby Lobby, I vote for what I believe in, my wife walked for Breast Cancer Awareness, I am for political activism or drawing attention to an illness or a charity that helps some particular cause, but we cannot forget that our number one focus, the most important cause that we are to stand for is the salvation of lost souls.

I do not know what the future holds for Calvary Baptist Church. Someday we may have ministries that help with people in every stage of life. I would love to see people in our building every single day having Bible studies, growing and edifying one another; I would love to see activity and excitement in our members. But the one thing that should never change is the understanding that soul winning takes the front seat in the operations of our church. As I have heard many wise men say in the past, “We need to keep the main thing the main thing, and the main thing is soul winning.”

I am so thankful for a dad who isn’t just a soul winner. He is much more than that. At a very young age, he taught me how important soul winning is. I sincerely believe that every soul that is saved through my ministry will be credited to my dad and mom in eternity, because without their influence and training I would not be a soul winner today. How about you? How important is soul winning to you? Think of what God could do through us if we all determined to place soul winning on our priority list where God wants it to be! Let’s all determine to be more passionate in our soul winning efforts.

Did you miss part one of this series? If so, here is a link to No Complaining About Nothin’! Check it out.

Also, for more information on my dad’s ministry, check out the website of Emmanuel Baptist Temple.

Lastly, if you live in Northeast Georgia, or are travelling through, check out the website of Calvary Baptist Church in Hartwell, GA. We would love to have you as a guest to our church!

Lessons That My Dad Taught Me- No Complaining About Nothin'

When I was thirteen years old, I had the opportunity to go on a missions trip to Nassau, Bahamas. My dad was the youth pastor of a large youth group and several of us went to hold a Bible school for the children who lived in Nassau. It was an incredible time! God worked in a great way, and I was able to see what it was like to live in poverty. This is off topic, but I believe that every teen needs to see what it is like to live in a third world country. It is easy to get spoiled living in the USA, but to be able to see the living conditions of those less fortunate and see that, despite what little they have, they are so much happier than we tend to be, is very convicting and is a great reality check. My dad was in charge of our group of teens and he put us through several meetings of training before we got there. In the first meeting that we all had, my dad went over a list of the rules for the missions trip. Rules like, no dating while on the missions trip, no color tv (we were allowed to talk about black and white shows, like the Andy Griffith show, I Love Lucy, and Three Stooges), dress code rules, things to not bring with us, and more. There was one rule in particular that has always stuck out to me. It was a rule that I learned did not just apply to the missions trip but to life in general. That rule was, as my dad humorously put it, “no complaining about nothin’!” (Note: For any Grammar Nazi’s reading this, the double negative was said on purpose in order to be funny. Please do not flood my comment section with grammar corrections.)

Why was this such an important rule for a missions trip? Since we were going down to the Bahamas to do a Bible school for the church, we were to serve them for the week. It would be selfish of us to go down there and then complain about how hot the weather was, how we didn’t like the food that was given to us, or the cleanliness of our sleeping arrangement. We were there to be a blessing and to serve, complaining was not compatible with the purpose for being down there.

As Christians, we are called to serve the Lord and to be a blessing wherever we go. Remember, we are ambassadors for Christ. Complaining is not compatible with our calling as Christians. Complaining is a very carnal thing to do, because the root of complaining is being unthankful. The Lord has done so much for us, why do we feel like we have the right to be unthankful? 

Sometimes when I am tempted to complain, I think about the people in the Bahamas. Many of them live in small cinder block houses that are no bigger than my living room. No air conditioning, many had no running water. Who am I to complain? 

Paul said it this way in 1st Timothy 6:8, “And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.” God has provided for our needs, there is no reason to complain.

When we went down to the Bahamas, we got to see many children accept Jesus Christ as their Saviour. God blessed our time there, and part of it was because we had a good spirit. That good spirit was present within our group because we came to do God’s work and to not complain while doing it. When we focus on serving the Lord, and having an excellent spirit while doing so, God will bless in a great way. That is why we need to have the rule, “No complaining about nothin’!”

If you haven't yet, be sure to check out Calvary Baptist Church's website at www.calvarybaptisthartwell.com.

Also, check out my dad's ministry at www.ebthagerstown.com.