College was a huge step in my life, as it is with every college student. It was particularly hard on me and my family because the college I had chosen to was in California, (West Coast Baptist College) while my family lived in Maryland. I was far from home. This was not my first time being far from home, I had spent summers serving at the Bill Rice Ranch, but this was the first truly long time. My family flew out with me to get me all set up and ready. We made the most of those last days we had together. I will never forget my father pulling me aside and giving me a word of advice. This was one of the last things he advised me on before they left, and it will stick with me until the day I die. He said to me, “Curt, never get into an argument with anybody.” He then explained to me that preacher boys are notorious for enjoying an argument over theology, or personal standards, or other things (He was right) and that doing so is an unwise and not a spirit-filled thing to do.
It did not take me very long for me to realize that he was very right about what he told me. In my time at college, I heard preacher boys argue in dorm rooms, I saw them argue on Facebook, and I overheard them argue while out soul winning. By the way, this is not a reflection on my alma mater, this is a reflection on human nature. It seemed as if everywhere I turned people were arguing. I will not say some of the ridiculous things that were being argued about, because some who read this may have been the people who were arguing!
Before you roll your eyes and say, “Well, doesn’t Pastor King think he is so perfect!” I have to admit, sometimes I did not follow my dad’s advice. Sometimes I got sucked into arguing. I remember one time in particular, there was a guy who told me that the preaching at church was not really as important as we made it out to be. Now, maybe he just said that to grind my gears, because it did! I got angry and I began to argue.
Looking back though, I realize just how foolish it was. How much time was wasted by guys sitting around and arguing all afternoon? Sometimes when we would get back from visitation on Saturday’s, guys would come into the dorm with a big grin on their face. People would ask, “Did you see anyone get saved today?” And they would reply, “No! But we got to argue with some Mormons, and boy did we let them have it!” Do you know what happened? These guys would spend an hour arguing theology with Mormon missionaries. I am not saying that Mormons can’t be saved, but I am saying that arguing with one isn’t going to do it! These guys would waste all of that time on this group of Mormons while the entire time they could have been knocking on more doors, inviting people to church and spreading the Gospel. When they decided to argue instead, nobody won. They didn’t win, the Mormons didn’t win, certainly God didn’t win. Oh wait, there is someone who did win…the Devil.
And that is the whole point. Arguing is nothing but a waste of time. All it does is it swells the ego of the person who “won the argument”, and it keeps us from doing what we are supposed to be doing.
You might want to argue with me and say, “But how will we show people that they are wrong?” When you decide to argue with someone, they don’t care what you have to say. If you want to help change someone for the better try to love them to where they need to be. Many of you have heard the famous phrase, “It is easier to catch flies with honey than vinegar”. Although that is technically not true (flies are definitely more attracted to vinegar) the lesson remains the same. You are not going to help people change or grow by arguing or belittling what they believe or do, you win them by loving them.
I still cannot get over how much time I wasted that I could have used to serve the Lord in an effective way. If only I had heeded that lesson that my dad taught me much sooner. Arguing is a waste of time, never argue with anyone about anything.
God is doing great things at Calvary Baptist Church in Hartwell, GA! Check us out!
My dad is the pastor of Emmanuel Baptist Temple. Give it a look!
Check out the other Lessons My Dad Taught Me: No Complainin' About Nothin' and The Importance of Soul winning
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