Why Christians Ought To Be The Most Loving People In The World

This month for Calvary Baptist Church is what we call Love Works Month. I will be encouraging the members of the church to perform individual acts of kindness and then use that kindness to then share the Gospel. The church will also be involved in several corporate activities including: making lunch for first responders, giving away cookies at our local 5k run, holding a special offering for Hart Life, and giving donuts to fast food workers all across town. I adopted the Love Works concept from several other churches, but as the years have gone by my own personal feelings toward it have grown and even changed. The purpose of Love Works, for us, used to be to give out the Gospel in a unique way; that is certainly still what it is all about, but over the last few years another purpose for Love Works has emerged in my heart and that is this: Christians ought to be loving people. It breaks my heart that when I look at the landscape of our solid independent, Baptist churches I see a few dots of loving, caring people in the midst of a sea of mean-spirited people. I understand that sometimes our stand for doctrine will make us seem mean-spirited, and that is not what I am talking about; instead, I am talking about the rude behavior, the grumpy attitudes, the “get off my lawn” mentality that so many have. But here is the things: Christians ought to be loving people, not just any kind of loving, but the most loving. To not be so is a poor representation of what we are and who we serve. Here are three reasons why Christians ought to be the most loving people in the world:

We Have Christ

There is no greater example of love than Jesus Christ. He lived 33 years on this planet, despised and rejected of man. But even through the mistreatment, the name calling, and the hatred, Jesus still went to that cross and died on it out of a love for me, out of a love for you, and out of a love for them. It is hard for us to fully grasp that when Jesus was on that cross, he was able to look down at the people who were cheering his death and were mocking but was able to truly say that he loved them. Jesus loved every Pharisee that was standing around the cross, he loved every Roman centurion, he loved Herod and Pilate, he loved Judas, and he loves us.

Sometimes we feel like we have just cause for hating someone because of a way they mistreated us, but we would be wise to remember that no one can do as bad to you as you have done to Jesus, yet he still loves you and he died on the cross for you. The love that Jesus displays for me motivates me to love others in a greater way.

We Have The Capability

Because we have the example of Christ, we are capable of loving in a greater way than the rest of the world. The “acts of love” that a lot of people perform today are not completely sincere. A lot of people give time and/or money to feel good about themselves, sometimes they do these things because of a feeling of guilt. In both of those cases, the action is performed, not for the person that is the recipient of the action, but for the person doing the action. Now, I am not saying that every Christian is always completely sincere when they are loving, but I am saying that Christians have the distinct capability of being self-less in our love because of the purpose of our love: sharing Jesus Christ. When we give out 300 bags of cookies in a few weeks, we will not be doing it to feel good about ourselves, we will be doing it to get the Gospel into the hands of 300 people. It’s not about us, it is about those who are still lost and on their way to Hell, and an action of love by a Christian may very well push them over the edge and they might accept Christ.

We Have The Command

If the other two reasons were not a reality, this one stands by itself. Countless times in the Bible, we are shown that we ought to be kind, loving people:

Ephesians 4:32, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

Galatians 5:22, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love…”

John 13:34,35, “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”

Romans 12:10, “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another”

Do I need any more than that? Because there are more! There is no legitimate excuse for a Christian to be a hateful person, to be so is to either be ignorant of what the Bible says or to resist what the Bible says. Let’s be loving people, because Christ commands us to be.

When we display the love of Christ, that is when we will make a difference in this world, Jude 22, “And of some have compassion, making a difference”. It does not say that our stand against wickedness will make a difference, or that our standards will make a difference, both are very important, but the passage tells us that compassion is what will  make a difference in our world. Could it be that Christians today are not seeing the world turn upside down for Jesus because they do not have compassion that makes a difference? Give me your thoughts in the comments!

Also, don’t forget to check out my newest book, Level Up!

Christian Rules for Handling Bullies

I was bullied when I was in high school. I was not physically beaten up but I was mistreated quite a bit which did bring me quite a bit of emotional grief and tears. I am quick to admit that some of the mistreatment that I got was self-inflicted (I was a little bit of a “know-it-all” stinker), but for the most part, I did not deserve the way that I was treated (neither do 99.99999999999% of people that are bullied). That is why I sympathize with people who struggle with being bullied. Although I sympathize, I do not agree with a lot of the methods being taught today about handling bullies. To me, it seems as if this generation is not being taught how to handle bullies, but that they have the right to not be around bullies. There is a problem with that thinking and let me give you an illustration: When I was a teen there was one person, above all others, that was really cruel to me (let’s call him Bill). One day I was so fed up that I told my dad about how upset I was that Bill was picking on me. Dad told me this piece of truth “Curt, there is going to be a “Bill” everywhere you go for the rest of your life.” Do you know what? He was right! I went off to Bible college and there was a guy just like Bill, I went to work at Panera Bread and at each store I ended up working at I worked with a Bill, even now that I am in the ministry I have to deal with “Bills” every Sunday. The point I am trying to make is this: No matter how far you run, there will always be a bully. That does not make it right, it does not make it fair; but it does mean that we need to learn how to handle them instead of running away from them. Fortunately, Jesus does not leave us without answers when it comes to dealing with bullies. Here are some rules to abide by if you are a Christian.

Be kind

Ephesians 4:32, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

I feel like I mention kindness almost every blog post that I write. The reason for that is because of the fact that as Christians WE OUGHT TO BE KIND. Let me ask you, does a bully deserve your kindness? Absolutely not! To be honest, it can be hard enough to be kind to your friends, let alone your enemies. But there are a few reasons why this is a good practice. First, it will burn the bully with conviction (Romans 12:20, “Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.) Second, you will be blameless and on the high ground. And third, and most important, it is what Jesus did for you. Let me elaborate on this one, you were the enemy of God (Romans 5:10) before you were saved. You did not deserve a single good thing from God, all you deserved was eternity in Hell, but Jesus came and died on a cross for your sins as undeserving as you are. That is called grace. That same grace that Jesus gave to us, we ought to give to other people as well. Does that bully deserve your kindness? No! Give it to him anyway. Aren’t you glad that Jesus didn’t just save those who “deserved” to be saved! Let’s be like Jesus and show grace to everyone.

Be prayerful

Matthew 5:44, “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;”

I heard a sermon when I was a teen, it was about loving your enemies. The preacher said something that stuck to my mind, he said, “It is impossible to not love someone that you pray for every day.” I heard what he said, I thought about the bullies in my life, and I took him to task on that statement. I singled out the top 5 people who were particularly cruel to me and every night before I went to bed I would pray for them, calling them the Fantastic Five (I was, and still am, a nerd). I didn’t pray anything dumb like, “I pray they will have a ton of bricks fall on them”, instead I prayed three things, first, that God would give them a good day the next day, and second, that I would be granted the opportunity to show at least one of them kindness. And third, that God would help me to love them. Do you know what happened? They never changed. Those five kept being bullies, they never stopped mistreating me. But there was a change inside of me. I can honestly say that I love those 5 now and if I were to see any one of them today I would have nothing but kind things to say to them. God put a piece in my heart that could only be gotten by praying for my enemies. If you have a bully who is ruining your life, pray for them.

Choose to be happy

Acts 16:25, “And at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them.”

Paul and Silas were in a difficult situation, they were in prison. They had been beaten and now their feet were in stocks, rodents and vermin were likely crawling all over them. In the middle of this awful circumstance, Paul and Silas praised God. Their actions show us that happiness is not based on circumstances. By the way, even if it was based on circumstances you should still be happy, here are your circumstances: you are on your way to Heaven instead of Hell, you are no longer seen by God as a sinner but a saint, you are a child of God rather then a child of sin. Be happy. No matter what life throughs your way, be happy. In fact, God does not say to just be happy in convenient times, but to “rejoice in the Lord ALWAY” (Philippians 4:4). What does being happy have to do with bullies? The reason that bullies will bully people you is because they do not want you to be happy, they want to see you miserable. I’ve had to learn this the tough way, the bully is happy when you cry, the bully is giddy and feels like he has won when you lash out in anger, but the bully has lost when you do not let him get to you and you keep that smile on your face. In high school, I would get weepy and sad over people that were unkind to me, but now I have learned that in order to win against a bully you need to smile in their face, say hello to them whenever you see them with a little bit of a spring in your voice as if nothing they do or say can get you down. Everyone, even a bully, ought to see that you have the joy of Jesus in your heart.

By the way, bullies are often miserable themselves, that is why they are a bully (miserable people make more miserable people and then they are happy!) maybe you can help the bully by spreading that joy a little: invite them to church, witness to them, again, be kind. Show them the reason why you are happy.

I want to send out a disclaimer before this post is finished: I am not trying to victim shame. I know what being a victim of bullying is like, it is not fun. I wish that no one would have to go through bullying. I am not trying to victim shame, instead, I am trying to keep you from being a victim. I would rather be a victor than be a victim, and I believe that when it comes to bullies we can be victors. I believe that when we follow these truths found in the Word of God we can be victorious over bullies.

Check out more of my writing at Getting My Attitude Adjusted and Sermons from the Book of Haggai

Christian Rules For Facebook

I created my Facebook account a little later than most people do. My wife and I created a shared account just a few weeks before we got married. Facebook has been a blessing in my life: I am able to see how my friends are doing, I get to watch as my ministry friends serve the Lord, I get to know how I can specifically pray for people. Facebook has also been a curse as well: It is difficult to watch the carnality that a lot Christians exhibit on their Facebook pages. Now, we all have read the stories about people spouting off their ignorance on Facebook and then losing friendships over it, or losing their jobs, or getting into legal trouble. We often shake our heads in disbelief at just how foolish people can be on Facebook. Let me propose, though, that on a spiritual level, many Christians are doing the same exact thing. Almost as if when they log onto their Facebook accounts they decide to throw their walk with God out the window. Here are a few rules that Christians should practice as they do their “Facebooking”.

1. Never Talk Badly of Anyone- Many act like just because they have a screen in front of them, they can say whatever they want. A good rule to live by is, “If I wouldn’t say it to their face, I shouldn’t say it at all.” Another good rule to live by is, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” The truth is, Christians ought not to be in the business of tearing people down, God has not called us to do that, instead he has called us to lift people up; Galatians 6:1,2, “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” It doesn't matter how someone has hurt you, done you wrong, or simply annoys you; the wise thing to do is to hold your tongue.
2. Never Lift Yourself Up- Just as much as we enjoy tearing people down, we also enjoy lifting ourselves up. If you ever decide that you want to make someone look good on Facebook, make sure it is at least one of two people: Jesus or other people. Never talk about your accomplishments, or your intellect, or your success. A good verse for that is Proverbs 27:2, “Let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth; a stranger, and not thine own lips. Remember, if you lift yourself up in pride, you will be abased (Matthew 23:12)
3. Never Exalt Sin- I could tell you many stories about Christian friends of mine who exalt sin on Facebook, I will not because it is unfair to single people out. A wise question to ask yourself is this, “Would Jesus be involved in this activity that I’m about to post a picture of?” Unfortunately, a lot of pictures I see of things that some of my Christian brothers and sisters are doing, I know (based on Scripture) that Jesus does not want to be a party to those activities. Remember what 1st Thessalonians 3:7 says, “For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness.”
4. Never Argue- Do you know how much good arguing does? None! When we argue with people all it does is leaves both parties upset with each other, no one has changed their mind, and both people become even more entrenched in their beliefs, right or wrong. Arguing is unproductive. I remember in college how excited some college guys would get when they would run across some Jehovah’s Witness’s while out soul winning. They came back grinning from ear to ear saying, “Yeah, we met some Jehovah’s Witness’s today and we won the argument! We sure stumped them!” Unfortunately though, in that time when they could have been productive for the Lord and actually trying to win souls for Jesus, they instead engaged in senseless debate. Arguing is foolish, do not do it. Do not be the person that is constantly trying to pick a fight. Jesus commands us to be gracious people, read Matthew 18:23-35, sense God has been gracious to us, we should do the same for others.

Do you notice something about these rules? They do not just apply to Facebook but to real life. Do you know why? Facebook is a part of real life! Sometimes we get on Facebook, or any kind of social media for that matter, and see a screen, and then tell ourselves that what we post have no real consequences, there are no spiritual implications, or no one will get hurt. But we couldn’t be more wrong! Facebook is just as real of interaction as face to face interaction, but we often treat with much less sobriety than we should. We often pray that everything we say and do will be to the glory of God, the same must be true with your Facebook account. I doubt the fervency of a Christian who is able to live for Jesus at church, but lives for himself on Facebook. A sincere, genuine Christian will allow Christ to shine in his life no matter what avenue. Let’s determine that as we build our internet presence, it will all point to our great Saviour!

Lessons My Mom Taught Me- Meekness is not Weakness

Fragile. That is not a good word to describe my mom. Now, some of you who think that you know my mom are reading this and thinking, “Of course she is fragile! She is sweet, sensitive, and a bit quiet.” Well, I hate to tell you this, but you don’t know my mom. It takes great fortitude to be a pastor’s wife. There are many women who cannot handle the pressure and hurt their husband’s ministry because of it. Being a pastor’s wife is MUCH harder than being a pastor. I can say that because my mother is a pastor’s wife and my wife is a pastor’s wife. I have seen and experienced firsthand this truth. My mother is not fragile, my mother is not weak. I think Hollywood has tricked modern society into thinking that in order for a woman to be strong, she needs to be loud and boisterous. First example of this that comes to my mind is Lois Lane in the Superman comics. Whenever Lois walks into a room, she takes control. She is pushy, always gets her way. Most people would look at Lois Lane (if she was a real person) and say, “That is a strong woman!” And maybe she is. But can I tell you a strength that is often overlooked? Meekness. The word “fragile” is not a good way to describe my mom, “meek” is. What does it mean to be meek? The Biblical idea behind meekness is twofold, the first part is speaking of humility and the second part is referring to weakness. You might say, “Pastor King, look at the title of this blog. You are saying that meekness is NOT weakness.” Correct, because meekness as a Christian is not simply being weak, but also gaining strength from Jesus Christ. Understand, every single one of us is weak, but it is the meek person who understands that they are weak and need to take on the strength of Christ. Do you know something that is very difficult about being a pastor’s wife? Knowing about people who mistreat your husband but still loving them and being kind to them. Knowing that someone said something overly cruel to your husband but then going up to them with a smile on your face and love in your heart on Sunday anyway. That takes strength. Some people would say, “That person hurt me, I’m just going to hurt them back. They don’t deserve my kindness or love!” That person is reactionary and weak. The person that can bite his tongue and continue on loving is the strong person.

I have seen my mom hurt many times. Whether it was someone saying a cruel thing about my dad, or about one of us kids. Whether it was someone being overly cruel or harsh to my family. I have talked to my mom on several occasions where she was in tears. But never once have I seen her angry. And that speaks a lot of her strength.

Many Christians can learn from this. Why are we so quick to lash out? Why are we so quick to act out in anger? Truly strong people are the ones who decide not to fight back, but instead decide to continue to love despite the bad treatment they endured.

Isn’t that what Jesus did? On the cross, one of the things he said was, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Who was Jesus speaking of? The people that beat him, spit in his face, whipped him, and nailed him on a cross to die! But Jesus did not act out in anger, he didn’t call fire down from Heaven to destroy them all, instead he loved them. One of the most Christ-like things we can do is to love those that have hurt us. Yes, it is meek, but it is also very strong.

My mother is one of the strongest women I know. Yes, she may be quiet at times, she may not like speaking in big crowds, she may be sweet, and yes, she may even be a little sensitive at times, but my mom is not fragile. She has great fortitude. She is meek. And it is the meek people who, in reality, are very strong.

Stay tuned for next week’s post- The Greatest Lesson My Mom Taught Me!

Check out Calvary Baptist Church.

If you missed my first post in Lessons My Mom Taught Me, check it out- Home is a Haven.

Last thing, I promise. In the beginning of 2015, I am launching my new book “Sermons from the Life of Abraham” on the Kindle. Stay tuned for its release. In the meantime, check out my book Sermons from the Book of Haggai.