Christian Rules for Handling Bullies

I was bullied when I was in high school. I was not physically beaten up but I was mistreated quite a bit which did bring me quite a bit of emotional grief and tears. I am quick to admit that some of the mistreatment that I got was self-inflicted (I was a little bit of a “know-it-all” stinker), but for the most part, I did not deserve the way that I was treated (neither do 99.99999999999% of people that are bullied). That is why I sympathize with people who struggle with being bullied. Although I sympathize, I do not agree with a lot of the methods being taught today about handling bullies. To me, it seems as if this generation is not being taught how to handle bullies, but that they have the right to not be around bullies. There is a problem with that thinking and let me give you an illustration: When I was a teen there was one person, above all others, that was really cruel to me (let’s call him Bill). One day I was so fed up that I told my dad about how upset I was that Bill was picking on me. Dad told me this piece of truth “Curt, there is going to be a “Bill” everywhere you go for the rest of your life.” Do you know what? He was right! I went off to Bible college and there was a guy just like Bill, I went to work at Panera Bread and at each store I ended up working at I worked with a Bill, even now that I am in the ministry I have to deal with “Bills” every Sunday. The point I am trying to make is this: No matter how far you run, there will always be a bully. That does not make it right, it does not make it fair; but it does mean that we need to learn how to handle them instead of running away from them. Fortunately, Jesus does not leave us without answers when it comes to dealing with bullies. Here are some rules to abide by if you are a Christian.

Be kind

Ephesians 4:32, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

I feel like I mention kindness almost every blog post that I write. The reason for that is because of the fact that as Christians WE OUGHT TO BE KIND. Let me ask you, does a bully deserve your kindness? Absolutely not! To be honest, it can be hard enough to be kind to your friends, let alone your enemies. But there are a few reasons why this is a good practice. First, it will burn the bully with conviction (Romans 12:20, “Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.) Second, you will be blameless and on the high ground. And third, and most important, it is what Jesus did for you. Let me elaborate on this one, you were the enemy of God (Romans 5:10) before you were saved. You did not deserve a single good thing from God, all you deserved was eternity in Hell, but Jesus came and died on a cross for your sins as undeserving as you are. That is called grace. That same grace that Jesus gave to us, we ought to give to other people as well. Does that bully deserve your kindness? No! Give it to him anyway. Aren’t you glad that Jesus didn’t just save those who “deserved” to be saved! Let’s be like Jesus and show grace to everyone.

Be prayerful

Matthew 5:44, “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;”

I heard a sermon when I was a teen, it was about loving your enemies. The preacher said something that stuck to my mind, he said, “It is impossible to not love someone that you pray for every day.” I heard what he said, I thought about the bullies in my life, and I took him to task on that statement. I singled out the top 5 people who were particularly cruel to me and every night before I went to bed I would pray for them, calling them the Fantastic Five (I was, and still am, a nerd). I didn’t pray anything dumb like, “I pray they will have a ton of bricks fall on them”, instead I prayed three things, first, that God would give them a good day the next day, and second, that I would be granted the opportunity to show at least one of them kindness. And third, that God would help me to love them. Do you know what happened? They never changed. Those five kept being bullies, they never stopped mistreating me. But there was a change inside of me. I can honestly say that I love those 5 now and if I were to see any one of them today I would have nothing but kind things to say to them. God put a piece in my heart that could only be gotten by praying for my enemies. If you have a bully who is ruining your life, pray for them.

Choose to be happy

Acts 16:25, “And at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them.”

Paul and Silas were in a difficult situation, they were in prison. They had been beaten and now their feet were in stocks, rodents and vermin were likely crawling all over them. In the middle of this awful circumstance, Paul and Silas praised God. Their actions show us that happiness is not based on circumstances. By the way, even if it was based on circumstances you should still be happy, here are your circumstances: you are on your way to Heaven instead of Hell, you are no longer seen by God as a sinner but a saint, you are a child of God rather then a child of sin. Be happy. No matter what life throughs your way, be happy. In fact, God does not say to just be happy in convenient times, but to “rejoice in the Lord ALWAY” (Philippians 4:4). What does being happy have to do with bullies? The reason that bullies will bully people you is because they do not want you to be happy, they want to see you miserable. I’ve had to learn this the tough way, the bully is happy when you cry, the bully is giddy and feels like he has won when you lash out in anger, but the bully has lost when you do not let him get to you and you keep that smile on your face. In high school, I would get weepy and sad over people that were unkind to me, but now I have learned that in order to win against a bully you need to smile in their face, say hello to them whenever you see them with a little bit of a spring in your voice as if nothing they do or say can get you down. Everyone, even a bully, ought to see that you have the joy of Jesus in your heart.

By the way, bullies are often miserable themselves, that is why they are a bully (miserable people make more miserable people and then they are happy!) maybe you can help the bully by spreading that joy a little: invite them to church, witness to them, again, be kind. Show them the reason why you are happy.

I want to send out a disclaimer before this post is finished: I am not trying to victim shame. I know what being a victim of bullying is like, it is not fun. I wish that no one would have to go through bullying. I am not trying to victim shame, instead, I am trying to keep you from being a victim. I would rather be a victor than be a victim, and I believe that when it comes to bullies we can be victors. I believe that when we follow these truths found in the Word of God we can be victorious over bullies.

Check out more of my writing at Getting My Attitude Adjusted and Sermons from the Book of Haggai

Christian Rules for Politics

It has been quite some time since I have written on here, for which I apologize (sense, you know, thousands, or even millions, of people read my blog!) But the Lord has been laying some things on my heart about this upcoming election. If you go on Facebook at all, you see that one out of every 5 posts (statistic created by myself) is about this year’s election. Some are anti-Trump, some are anti-Clinton, some are anti-both. It is not uncommon to see a large group of my friends posting at least a dozen politically charged articles in a day. This post IS NOT to say that we ought to abandon our concern about politics. I believe every Christian ought to vote. I believe every Christian should be an informed voter. But I believe that there are a few things more important than politics. Here are some Christian rules for politics, based on Scripture.

1. Don’t Neglect Your Spiritual Walk

2nd Timothy 2:15, “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”

I get on Drudge Report every day to read the news. I make sure that I am somewhat informed about the world around me. But I should never be a “news hound” at the expense of my walk with God. If you are constantly reading news stories but not reading your Bible, you are not walking with God. I fear that there are too many Christians reading the news and too few Christians reading their Bibles. I have said behind my pulpit many times before, and I strongly believe this, that one of the biggest problems with Christianity today is that we are not people of the Word of God. Get into your Bibles!

2. Be A Witness

Mark 16:15, “And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.”

I have met plenty of people who are very quick into getting into political arguments (they call it discussions) with other people. It burdens my heart that too many Christians are more quick to share their political beliefs with a stranger than to tell that stranger about their Saviour. Christian, Donald Trump is not your Messiah. Hillary Clinton did not die on the cross for your sins. Gary Johnson did not give you the gift of eternal life. There is no person in this world more important to the world than Jesus Christ. Let’s tell others about him! Sure, he may not be on our ballot, but he is in our Bibles and on our Gospel tracts. Tell others about Jesus. By the way, most of the world’s problems would be a lot smaller if more people knew Christ as their Saviour. The Gospel is the hope of the world!

3. Have Perspective

2nd Chronicles 7:14, “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”

Can I say something that will hurt some people… ok, here it goes… Donald Trump cannot Make America Great Again. Neither can Hillary for that matter. Republicans and Democrats alike tend to deify their candidate to a level of “Messiah-ship” (look, I made up a word!), and that is absolutely wrong. No matter who is put into the White House, this nation is still in a great amount of trouble. No president can fix this mess. Who can? God can! The verse above does not say to seek Trump’s face or Clinton’s face, it says to seek God’s face. And this is a task that must be done by the people of God (“if my people…”) I have said before and will say it for years to come, America is in the shape that it is in because of Christians who will not humble themselves, pray, seek God’s face, and turn from their own wicked ways.” Do not look for a president that will fix the problems that you created, seek God’s face at this time. The only way America will be great again is if Christians start living like Christians ought to.

4. Be Kind

Ephesians 4:32, “And be ye kind…”

There is more to that verse, which goes into greater detail about how and why we should be kind to others. But those first four words are beautiful in their simplicity. Be nice! I have seen unkindness rear its ugly head on two fronts:

Cruel statements about politicians- I am not opposed to calling out politicians on inconsistencies or on their policy, but personal attacks are unChristian and unkind. The other day my wife and I saw an article about Michelle Obama, underneath the article were all of these comments about how ugly Mrs. Obama is. My wife and I were shocked! People were saying cruel things like calling her “Moochelle”. My wife and I agreed that this was ridiculous. Every time we see Mrs Obama, we are both impressed by how put together she looks and, yes, the fact that she is a pretty woman. Let me ask you this, would Jesus ever call any woman ugly? The answer to that is “NO!” Neither should a child of God. This is not just about Mrs Obama though, but about practically every politician that anyone ever disagrees with. Even children aren’t off limits! Remember, politicians are people too, they do not deserve personal attacks based on their looks, intelligence, or public speaking abilities (you try it sometime! I promise, public speaking is hard and I only speak to 30-40 every week!) Attack positions, but do not attack people.

Cruel statements to others- Too many families and friends get into heated discussions about politics! I understand talking over things, but when names start getting called and when people start to be cruel is when the line has been crossed. Do not forget that after this election is over you will still have that family member in your life whether or not they voted Blue or Red. That coworker will still be standing next to you every week. Basically, what I am trying to say is Practice Grace with people that disagree with you. Just because someone disagrees with you over some minor area of policy does not mean that we should cast them out of our lives and treat them as heretics. Kindness is what is expected of a Christian.

You might say, “Pastor King, these are all things we ought to be doing anyway!” Exactly! The point I am making is simple: Our spiritual lives do not take a back seat in the election year. Before you are a Republican, you are a Christian. Before you are an American, you are a Christian. Go out and vote this year (you have no right to complain about politics if you do not vote), be an informed voter, read the news to make sure you know the developing stories, but please, Christian, please do not stop being what you ought to be for your Saviour. A blogger wrote the other day that this will be the ugliest election in our modern history. It very well may be, but let that not be said of us Christians, let us walk through this season with grace toward all men.

"Pastor King, where have you been? I miss your writing!" The mighty throngs of you are saying. I will continue to write on this blog when I can, but in the meantime, check out the health/lifestyle blog that my wife and I have together right here!
Don't forget to check out my books on the Kindle: Getting My Attitude Adjusted, Sermons from the Book of Haggai, and Sermons from the Life of Abraham!