High school was very difficult for me. I did not have a whole lot of friends during my time in high school. In fact, it wasn’t until about my junior year when I could reach out to younger guys that I really had a nice base of friends. Admittedly, some of it I brought on myself; some of it was not my fault though. I know it doesn’t sound very manly to admit, but there were several times in my time in high school when I came home crying just because someone had treated me cruelly. By the way, as a side note, there is never a good reason to be mean to anyone, ever. Jesus calls us to live above that and love one another. It is a shame that in a Christian high school, where everyone professed to know Jesus Christ as their Saviour, there was so much hatred and cruelty, but that is a different post for a different time. In high school I endured people saying cruel things to men, about me, spreading vicious rumors about me, treating me like the worst kind of person imaginable. I was mocked, scorned, belittled, and hurt. I am telling you all of this, not so you will feel bad for me, but so that you will see the burden that I felt. Put yourself in my shoes for a moment. Does it hurt? Do you dread waking up in the morning to face another day surrounded by people that hate you? Yeah. It’s tough. But do you know what made it all worth it? HOME. You see, my mother lived by a principle. Home is a haven. When we come home, the worries that we had from school were no longer important. At home, everyone was loved. At home, it was calm and relaxing. At home, I was safe. My mom made this happen by doing several things. Often there would be a plate of cookies or brownies ready for me and my siblings when we came home from school. Most mornings when we woke up and many evenings, my mom would turn on some soft playing music that was relaxing and calming. And every single day when we came home, my mom was genuinely happy to see us. It has been said that two things make the spirit of a home what it is, mom and music. My mom strived to make the spirit of our home one of safety and love.
I compare that to what many other children face. I can say with certainty that many children do not experience that type of home. From conversations I’ve had with friends, to seeing the homes of children we pick up on the church bus. Many children lack this type of home. Here is the problem with that. Most children and teenagers do not find safety or rest in school. Even the most popular in school are faced by pressure and difficulties among their peers. Those that do find safety and rest at school are in for a world of trouble, because there is a need to hold on to it, so peer pressure is easier to fall to. Children that lack a loving home lack stability. By the way, if you think what I am saying is hogwash (that’s a fun word to use) this is something that I studied about and I have many sources to back me on this. Kids need a loving home. Period.
Can I be honest about something? I love my dad. That was made very clear by my series called Lessons My Dad Taught Me. But, if I would have had my dad without my mom, I do not believe I would be a well adjusted member of society. My dad would testify to that. If I had not had my mother, I would hate the life of the ministry, I would be bitter at life and people, and I would not have any of the positive relationships that I have today. Why? Because when I would get beaten down by the outside world, I knew I had a haven, a place to go where I felt safe. Home. That is not to say that my dad did not do a good job, it’s just that my mother made it a point to make home a place of comfort (please don’t read into this what isn’t intended to be said).
If you are a parent, which I’m sure many of you are. Do not make home a place of fighting and bickering. Too many homes, Christian homes, are a hotbed for strife; that is not the way that it is supposed to be. Why do so many children grow up and want nothing to do with the church? Oftentimes it has nothing to do with the church, but it has everything to do with the home. It may have been Lee Roberson who said that our country is weak because the church is weak, but the church is weak because families are weak. My mother taught me that in order to make a family strong, a family needs to feel safe from all trouble at home. No hatred, no anger, no strife. Just love, acceptance, and encouragement.
My mom is full of wisdom, you can hear her at the Sword Ladies Jubilee on
Check out Calvary Baptist Church for more about me and my ministry.
For some of the music cd’s that my mom would use at home, go to Faith Music Mission.
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