I am a young pastor. I pastor an “older” church. I am one of the youngest adult members of the church that I pastor but it is my desire to change that. In these past three years I have been introduced to countless people my age and almost every time I ask them about church they will say, “Oh, I went to church as a kid, but I don’t anymore,” or worse, “Oh yeah! I used to go to Calvary Baptist Church (which is the church that I pastor)!” This sentiment is not just in Hartwell, GA, but it is everywhere. Plenty of my friends on Facebook grew up in Bible-preaching churches, but are now no longer active, turned off by the church and its people. What happened? I know that some have written long articles about this very subject, but I hope to offer some insight from the perspective of being both a young man (at this point, 27 years old) and a senior pastor. Here are a few reasons, why I have seen, young people are leaving the church and what we, as the church, can do about it.
They Clung to People Rather than God
Everybody wants a hero. We all long for someone to look up to in life. A lot of teenagers are pressured by the church and Christian leaders to not make heroes out of sports figures, movie stars, or similar types of people. This is wise advise. It is foolish to make heroes or role models out of people who often life worldly, sinful lives. But what ended up happening for some of these teens is that in order to fill the void of needing a hero or role model, they went to their parents, youth pastor, senior pastor, coach at their Christian school, etc. You may say, “That is a good thing!” But I would suggest that it is not! I love my parents, they are wonderful people, but I am not fooled by something, my parents are sinners. My parents are capable of doing things that break the heart of God. So is your pastor, so is your youth pastor, or whoever else. This does not mean that they are not worthy of our admiration and respect, but it does mean that they are not perfect. When teens are inevitably presented with the harsh truth that their parents or their pastors are not perfect people they are quick to call out the word “hypocrite!” What they fail to understand is that, in many cases, their spiritual leaders are not hypocrites, they are simply sinners on the same spiritual journey that they are on, maybe a little further along, but on the same journey nonetheless.
What Can We Do About It? The answer is simple. Make Jesus the hero. The moment that teens start clinging onto God instead of onto the adults in their life is when they begin to develop a truly deep relationship with God. Something that I strive to do as I preach is to often remind my congregation that I am a sinner. I worry, I have pride, I sometimes act carnally. Their relationship with the Lord is not based on my spirituality, it is based on the goodness of God. Preacher, Sunday school teacher, parent, make JESUS the hero, don’t make yourself the hero. Making Jesus look good and lifting up his name will cause the young people of the church to be less disillusioned with the sinners surrounding them in church.
They Learned the Rules of Our Faith but not the Relationship
If a teenager is active in your church’s youth group and goes to your Christian school, they are aware of the rules of our faith. Their are quite a lot of rules too! As adults, we understand that there is a need for rules. Rules provide structure and organization. Also, rules keep sinful activity from being present in our youth groups and in our classrooms. Rules are good. The problem though, is that little children will follow a rule just because it is a rule and an adult says to follow it, a teenager will not. A teen wants to know why the rule is in place. Some adults may see such questioning as rebellion, but it certainly is not. Some adults do their best to silence such questioning, and they do themselves great harm in doing so. Teens question things, and that is what begins them on their personal journey of belief and knowledge. In other words, the teenage years are the prime years for a teen to practice their faith because THEY believe it rather than because their parents believe it. That is why the questioning of rules comes in, “Why don’t we say those words? Why don’t we watch that type of movie? Why don’t we have sex before marriage? Why are we supposed to behave this way?” When those questions go unanswered, it turns teens and young adults skeptical toward what we believe. A lot of spiritual leaders want their teens to simply fall in line and obey, but that is not what our ultimate goal ought to be. I was once told this, “Subdued and spiritual are not the same thing.” You may be doing well at getting your teen to obey, but that may very well end when they are out from under your roof if do not move them to being spiritual.
What Can We Do About It? Again, The answer is simple. Don’t just teach these young adults to adhere to rules, help them build a relationship with God. I once heard a good phrase, “Rules without relationship breed contempt”. Teach your teens why we have the rules we have, show them the Scripture that supports your rules (if you know the Scripture. if you don’t, it is time to start figuring it out!) But then teach them how to have a relationship with God- teach them to pray, teach them to read (no, study!) their Bibles. Take your teens from an area of doing to an area of being. Answer the “why” questions that they have and then show them the “how” about our faith. May I make an observation? I believe the BIG reason this goes undone is because many adults, who have been in the faith for decades, do not have a walk with God themselves. These young adults are not buying into all these rules without knowing why we have them, and you cannot expect them to.
They Did Not Learn Sound Doctrine
I have sat where many of our church teens are sitting. I have been to youth conferences that give emotional pleas the make decisions for the Lord. I have seen hundred of teens flood the aisles at camp meetings and youth conferences surrendering their hearts to Jesus. I have seen the tears of teens flow down their faces as they get things right with their peers and determine to live for Jesus. I have also seen less than 48 hours later, nearly every teen went back to living the same way and acting the same way they did before. What happened? Emotion driven decisions. Please do not misunderstand me, there is certainly a place for emotion when it comes to making decisions for Christ, and I believe that we ought to pull at these teens heartstrings, but THAT IS THE EASY PART. The hard part is moving passed the emotion and making them grounded. The only way to do that is with doctrine. Young adults can not survive in their faith through emotion alone, actually, emotion can only work so much by itself. If you are pulling at teens emotions without teaching them doctrine, over time they will grow to resent your use of emotion driven sermons and teaching to get them to make decisions for Christ. We need to use emotion in tandem with teaching the doctrinal truth, because ultimately it is doctrine that will keep our young adults in church and will make them grounded in our faith.
What Can We Do About It? Stop preaching “teen sermons” in youth group. What I mean is, a lot of youth pastors will preach sermons that they believe will appeal to their young audience. They preach a lot of sermons on faith, facing giants, God taking care of them, which are good subjects but do not make up much of what the Bible says at all, but do teach on the deity of Christ, the role of the Holy Spirit in our lives, the great depths of our salvation and how we can thoroughly enjoy it, the attributes of God, and what the church is in God’s eyes. Those may seem like topics that you do not think teens will listen to, but those are topics that they will need if they are going to stick around in the long run. I was once told that it is the pastor’s job to know doctrine and that it is the church members role to simply listen to sermons. Not many people are bold enough to voice that opinion, but I believe that is a sentiment shared by many. The problem with that thinking is that doctrine is and what should be the thing that strengthens us and keeps us in the church. Teach them Biblical truth.
They Are Turned Off By Traditionalism
We have done ourselves great harm in focusing on our traditions rather than on the good news of the Bible. I remember one time me and a few of my friends came up with a way to get more children to ride into church on our church buses. We were so excited about this program we had made and were prayerful about getting these young children in church. On the day that I was setting up for our special day, a lady came up to me with a sour look on her face and she said, “We’ve never done things this way before!” Honestly, hearing her say that, hearing her tone of voice, and seeing the anger on her face quenched my spirit. But looking back, I would have asked “young me” these questions: Does this idea go against the teachings of the Bible? The answer to that was no. Does this idea compromise anyones standards? Again, the answer was no. Does this idea have the potential to bring children into the church so they can hear the Gospel? The answer was ABSOLUTELY. So then, why should I give it a second thought whether or not the church had “never done this before”. Listen, just because your church has done something the same way for 3 decades does not mean that it is the right way to do things. I see where this attitude is coming from too, many older adults do not see the church as Jesus’ church but as their church. They feel as if everything should be centered around their comfort and that no changes ever ought to be made. They have “their” pew, and “their” parking spot, and they believe they are entitled to the church being exactly the way they want because they financially support the church. Here is the problem with that, the church does not belong to you, it belongs to Jesus, the church does not bow down to your whims and desires, it bows down to the command of Christ, that command includes reaching and even keeping young adults. These teens have creativity flowing through their minds, and when they start wanting to serve Jesus, those creative ideas are going to start coming up. Instead of squelching the creativity and zeal out of them, encourage it. It is ok to do a few new things, it is ok to have a different approach, and it is ok to follow the creative lead of a teen.
What Can We Do About It? I have challenged my congregation that they ought to never argue that we should not do something simply because we have never done it before. If they have a problem with a new program, new ministry, or new idea they ought to come to me with Scripture in hand or with a reasonable, well-thought out reason why it won’t work rather than say, “Well, this is the way we’ve always done it and we don’t want it to change.” Be open to listen to your young adults. I know that many older adults believe themselves to be the “fount of all wisdom” and that their voices should be the only ones heard in the church. I respect the opinions of older adults, and appreciate their decades of labor and service for the Lord, but their opinion is not the only one in the room, and sometimes their opinion is not the right one in the room. Do not turn a deaf ear to these younger Christians.
I believe that these 4 points all boil down to one main theme: Authenticity. What is missing in many churches today is a real walk with the Lord and our young adults can see right through it. From my experience with young adults, they do not necessarily want the things that everyone says they want in a church. A lot of pastors think they can attract young adults by having concerts, by building coffee shops in their churches, and by using slang while they preach. Young adults are not looking for that, they are looking for an authentic experience. They are looking for a place where the Bible is preached unapologetically, by a man of God who admits that he is not perfect but on the same spiritual journey as they are, surrounded by people who sincerely strive to follow Jesus and want to help others on their journey. Boy, that is a tall order, but that is what the church is supposed to be and what we are supposed to do.
By the way, Our church is beginning to turn the corner with young adults. We now have several young couples who are involved in the church, they are excited, they are growing, they are writing notes during sermons, and soaking it all in. In our country, most churches are losing young adults by large numbers, but at Calvary Baptist Church we are gaining young adults slowly but surely. I believe that has to do with understanding these 4 points and what we ought to do about them.
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